Birth Mother

I'm sorry it has been so long since my last post. We are still adjusting to having four little ones and me from jet lag. Uhhhhh.....................

We were in the Guangzhou airport at the Japan Airlines counter getting ready for the long flight home. We walk up with two luggage carts loaded, three kids, me and our guide. The line was very long and we were already starting to push the time due to another families trouble with their seats on another flight. We wait patiently while the line moved very slow. I noticed a young and chic woman with a hand held radio monitoring the line. She was wearing a uniform for the airline and had her hair cut short to chin and very modern. She kept watching us and I kept thinking, why don't you go and open up another counter!! We finally made it to the front of the line and had our bags weighed, pass ports checked and our guide escorted us to security and said good bye. The young chic woman who was monitoring the line was "herding" us through to security. I figured she was thinking no way can this woman board this plane by herself with three kids. She would walk a few steps ahead and then stop and wait. She kept staring at the kids, which by this point I almost completely oblivious to (see earlier post on Avery and the attention she attracted). As we approached security she told me "Thank you for adopting our Chinese children". I was taken back slightly and said that I was grateful for the opportunity and very lucky to be their mother. Then she said, "No, thank you very much, they are very lucky to be adopted by you". She was looking at Anna and Audie; Anna more so and I looked at her face and I saw tears. She quickly dried them and then went through security herself and handed us off to another manager who helped us get on the plane first.

Everything happened so fast and I was dreading the three flights home and how the kids would do, especially Audie who completely disagreed on sitting down and wearing seat belts. Oh, how I wish I would've taken five minutes to talk to her. I bet I could've gotten the details from her. Did she have a boy or girl? When was she born? When was she abandoned? Where was she abandoned? Why was she abandoned? Did she have a special need? When we arrived in China I saw so much poverty, unlike anything we have here in the US. I felt a deep level of sympathy for the parents who have had to or had the choice made for them (by their parents) when deciding on keeping a child or not. I had envisioned most parents who abandon their children as farmers from the country side or poor market and factory workers. Not a chic, beautiful, modern woman who had a professional job with the airlines. I know, how did I KNOW she was a birth mother? I just did and my heart ached for her as she obviously ached for her child and wished her a life as she saw my children living.

As much as I hate the one child policy in China, after visiting you can understand how the government made this decision. There are sooo many people (1.3 billion) and less farm land than we have in the US. They import a lot of rice, wheat and soybeans from the US. Also, they help supply food to North Korea.

My perspective has changed a lot since meeting this birth mother and I pray that her child is living the life she wishes for her. I have a new image to add to the one in my head on what my children's birth mother looks like. I hope to be lucky enough to return one day and talk to her, which I know is very unlikely. I will use this lesson to not make harsh judgements on people having to make decisions few ever have too.

Becky